Less strength, more softness - and the long-term benefits
Every client I meet is strong, capable, and competent in many different ways. And they’re ready to do – and are already doing – hard things.
Whether it’s:
Trying to manage a range of perimenopause symptoms, from insomnia to depression, anxiety or weight gain and body changes.
Struggling with their relationships with the people around them, including the effect the perimenopause may have had on the special relationship with their partner.
Being a single parent or a recent divorcee.
Worrying about how to balance all of this with work and career challenges.
So many of them are asking themselves the same questions, including:
Should I have applied for that promotion?
Will my children notice I’m not coping, and that I’m desperate to crash on the sofa yet again with a glass of wine?
Do I still come across as competent after yet another bad night’s sleep?
Can I be a present mum, as well as one that’s trying to multitask 24/7?
I know what it’s like because, at different times in my life, I’ve been in many of those places too.
And I know that burn-out and overwhelm are a real issue for many of us.
For me, it all started to change for the better when I found the best ways to look after my body and mind better.
I realised that I no longer wanted to hear that I’m strong or resilient. I realised that being strong had become my badge of honour but inside what I really craved more than anything was softness.
To be met with patience and kindness, to receive a warm hug and to simply be listened to without receiving judgement or advice.
Perhaps you’re in a similar place or heading in that direction.
You might be wondering how I knew it was time to change?
The best way to know is to have some me-time away from all the usual demands and really tune in to what your heart and gut are telling you.
The brain is usually quick to jump in to offer advice, solutions or criticisms. But if you’re quiet, you can hear the heart whisper while the gut also sends its signals – from butterflies to cramps to an unsettled stomach.
If you’re not able to get away at the moment, then simply notice your everyday reactions to people and things.
I was getting snappy, overly emotional, sometimes operating on autopilot/tuning out.
These for me were very clear signs that I had exceeded my limits, of both my body and mind.
So I started doing things differently. Some first steps in the right direction incuded:
I started saying no when I automatically used to say yes, and it made the world of difference to set clear boundaries around my time and energy both at work and at home.
I created clearer priorities and reduced all non-essentials (coming off social media for a few months freed up a lot of headspace and brought clarity and calm to my life).
I increased the amount of meditation in my life (I now practise, short, gentle meditation several times a day if I feel I need to, and if I can feel stress creeping up).
I reduced my hobbies to free up more time to be with my children (this may not apply to every mum but for me who likes to do a million hobbies at once, it was vital to reduce my time so I could better support my neurodivergent daughter).
I’ve sought and found the right coaches to help me on my journey (remember, it takes a village and as humans, we cannot achieve happiness, peace and success on our own!)
If any of this has resonated with you and you’re in need of some coaching to help you through your own wellness journey, get in touch for a complimentary call.
As a specialist perimenopause coach, with extensive training including ADHD, Health, NLP and Transformation Life Coaching, I not only have access to powerful tools to gently guide you but I have been where you are now and understand what you’re going through.
Health and well-being are ongoing journeys, not destinations. If you need support on your path to reduce stress and thriving during your perimenopause, get in touch to book your FREE, 30-minute coaching call.
Let’s work together to make your health a priority!
