Back when I was working for big corporates, I was often sent on presentation courses to help improve my public speaking skills. They didn’t help much as the focus was nearly always on what I was doing wrong. They kept saying: practice makes perfect. But I never felt that I improved, despite practising lots.
A couple of years later I joined a Musical Theatre company as I have always loved musicals. It was pretty scary to audition in front of people and perform on stage but my love of music made me push and challenge myself. And slowly but surely, I felt my confidence grow and I even started to enjoy being in the spotlight.
Why am I sharing this story with you?
Many of the mums I work with are apprehensive about returning to work after maternity leave. They worry about their skills being rusty which can have a real impact on their confidence levels. It is completely natural and normal to feel this way. Disrupted sleep during a baby’s early life can certainly have an effect on our short-term memory. And being out of touch with colleagues and managers for a longer period of time can make us wonder if they even remember that we exist!
But take comfort in the fact that going through pregnancy, birth and then navigating the world of parenting requires a lot of skills that often are directly transferable to the world of (paid) work. When you become a mum, there’s no longer any room for procrastination or poor project management skills. You learn to focus on the tasks that are most important first and spend less time and energy on less vital tasks. This is otherwise known as the 80/20 rule: 80% of your results come from 20% of tasks. New mums learn quite quickly how to prioritise and delegate where necessary.
Mums who have more than one child often feel like they’re running a military operation at home, keeping track of all the logistics and making sure that they’re running a tight, smooth ship. You can also think of them as your Chief Operating Officer as well as communications manager, negotiations team, marketing manager etc.
When I was interviewing for roles when my first-born was coming up to 1, I was surprised at how few organisations jumped at the opportunity of hiring me for a 4-day week (in fact, most of them refused). Working four days a week usually means the organisation gets a 5-day input whereas the mum receives payment for four days. It’s a no-brainer for any organisation and thankfully organisations around the UK are finally recognising this.
For mums returning to work, having flexibility in the workplace is most likely one of the most important features. Mums work hard, smart, deliver on time but often need a little flexibility to cater for, for example, ill children or attending a child’s school play. By focusing on the results achieved rather than the precise time stamp of when someone arrives or leaves work is so important. More and more organisations are realising this.
Some mums worry that they will have missed out on learning new skills or receiving industry updates while on maternity leave. Many organisations offer keep in touch days and they can be helpful to bridge the gap. I would also recommend asking for a mentor for the first three months back in the office as well as refresher courses where relevant. Being open and transparent with your manager, while reminding them of all your great skills and attitude to work, will ensure a smoother return to the workplace.
When I started a new corporate contract after an extended second maternity leave, one of my biggest fears was how my little one’s sleepless nights (yes, she woke up 3-5 times a night until she was well past 4 years’ old!) would impact my working memory, alertness and mood at work, especially in a new role and new company. A few months later I decided against applying for a more senior role within the same company as I still didn’t feel ‘sharp enough’.
I’ve met so many mums who feel the same way. Deep down, they know that they’re good at their job, however the mental headspace of being a working mum, all the logistics and the dreaded illness and sleepless nights often make them doubt that they have it in them. For some, it might be ok to take a step back and focus on balancing work with raising a family. However, there will be some who would love to go for that promotion but who don’t, and often feel resentful and disappointed afterwards. These are the mums that organisations (as well as partners) need to support and encourage so that they are able to continue to grow in their professional capacity.
The next time you find yourself doubting your abilities to do your job, think about all the skills you’ve been using during maternity leave – time management, project management, communication, relationship management, persuasion and negotiation – and know that you may even be better at your job when you return to it. Maybe even so good that you decide to set up your own company!
What has your experience of returning to work after maternity leave been like? Were you supported? Did you receive the flexibility you needed? Have you gone for that promotion? I would love to hear your story.
Caroline